Yesterday was a real struggle. I fought myself all day to not eat. All I wanted to do was shove food in my mouth. I wasn't craving anything specific. I just wanted to eat, period. A lot! It was so difficult to fight the urge. I was so frustrated! Then to top it off, I got angry at Hubs. He was a bit, well to be blunt, rude. Needless to say, anger on top of frustration was not a good mix. I literally had a little mantra running in my mind for the hours before bed. "Tomorrow you can eat whatever you want". I repeated it over and over and somehow, I made it through.
I did learn though a few things though.
One thing I learned is I absolutely cannot use artificial sweetener. I started my day with two foods which had sweetener in them and I won't do that again! I also question if cottage cheese is a trigger. To be safe, I am going to cut both from my Complementary Meals.
Another trigger for me is anger. It's obviously a big one. My first reaction was "I want a cookie". Talk about a deep, ingrained, bad habit! Obviously, I use food to soothe myself. I know this but it became very obvious last night. I did tell Hubs I was angry and why and he did apologize, which I accepted. I didn't deny the feeling by eating. I did express it and deal with it. However, between the stress of being angry and the carb addiction calling my name all day, I still wanted a cookie. Or a cupcake. Or more BBQ. Food. I just wanted food! Again, my mantra saved the day. "Tomorrow you can eat whatever you want". When it was time for bed, I was very relieved and proud of myself for not giving in to this temporary craving. "Tomorrow you can eat whatever you want" was the last thought before I drifted off to sleep.
Today is a different world! I've been awake for almost two hours and I'm just now getting hungry. The horrible obsession to eat is gone and I feel normal & in control again. I tell ya, the word addiction is spot on. I can see why people fall of the wagon, be it for carbs, alcohol or drugs. The compulsion is very strong.
Breakfast: Italian Skillet Fry, coffee.
Lunch: Today's Reward Meal: McDonald's COB burger, fries, Coke & 3 cookies. Enjoyed every single bite!
Dinner: Spinach salad with cucumbers, onions, cauliflower, bacon bits, and spiced-up cottage cheese. I didn't eat it all because I was still full from lunch.
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| Nice way to start the morning! |
One Serving
1 teaspoon Olive Oil
2 tablespoon Onion, chopped
1/4 cup Green Pepper, chopped (Try fresh red peppers or even roasted peppers instead)
2-1/2 cups fresh Spinach (You can also use Swiss chard or kale)
2 teaspoon Garlic Powder
Salt to taste (Optional. Cheese & sausage have plenty already)
Pepper to taste
Hot Pepper Flakes to taste (Leave out if you don't like spicy)
1/4 cup Italian Sausage Crumbles (I had this on hand. Use regular Italian sausage if you don't)
Cooking spray
1 egg
1 slice cheese, about 1 ounce (Shredded mozzarella or Parmesan are best but use what you have)
Heat 1 teaspoon olive oil in a small skillet. Add peppers and onions and cook until both are softened. Add spinach, garlic powder, salt, pepper, hot pepper flakes and Italian sausage. Saute until spinach is wilted. Add a bit of water if this mix starts sticking but make sure all of it has boiled off before plating.
Put on plate and set aside.
Rinse and dry pan.
Spray pan with cooking spray. Fry the egg to your desired level of done-ness. I like mine over medium (set white, runny warm yolk).
Once egg is cooked, cover with cheese, take off heat, and cover pan with lid to allow cheese to melt.
Put egg & cheese on top of spinach and serve.
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